Gay mature and young
"I'm 40, and I came out nearly about a year-and-a-half ago at My wife passed away in January of About five or six years prior to her passing away, I started to realize that I wasn't straight, and figured I must have been bisexual, as I would only ever fantasize about men and watch gay porn exclusively. I was happily married with two kids. We had a normal marriage and sex life in every way. I kept my sexuality to myself, as I felt it was irrelevant and that there was nothing I could do about it. I would never betray on my wife, and I couldn't imagine hurting her or the kids by coming out and getting divorced. I resigned myself to holding onto this secret forever. I felt apologize at times, because I met my wife at a childish age (18), and she had been my only sexual spouse, and I knew that having a sexual or romantic exposure with a man was something that I could never have."
"After she passed away, I started seeing a therapist for grief. I was holding onto an insane amount of guilt, though. Part of me felt responsible for her death, as if my being bi or same-sex attracted and that feeling of lament
You know the type: a handsome, mature, masculine man. Probably bearded, and that beard probably has at least some silver in it. He’s furry and often fit, or maybe he’s rocking that dad bod. Maybe more importantly, he’s at ease with himself. His manhood is indisputable, and it has nothing explicitly to do with fatherhood. Parent or not, he’s a total DILF. (You recognize what that means.) Think George Clooney, Jeff Goldblum or Pedro Pascal.
Move over, Hot Rodent Crush summer. This entire era belongs to daddy.
As with so many other cultural trends, it started with the homosexual community, where the term “daddy” refers to a guy who attracts—and is attracted to—younger guys. It’s been in use for a long time, too. In a culture as youth-obsessed as ours, it might seem like an anomaly, but daddies may have never been more prominent in queer being than they are now.
In San Francisco, the place to find them is at the Eagle Tavern in the city’s South of Market neighborhood, where hundreds of male lover men come together every Sunday afternoon on the patio, many of them paying $20 for
Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay guy whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.
Gass lost his first companion, 28 years his senior, through the slowly worsening effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he start love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively juvenile man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older bloke again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had disoriented older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of organism attracted to older men.”
I began to study gay relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay
Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Gay Relationships
Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to gay men younger than themselves. If you are happy dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It&#;s like asking &#;Why do I choose blondes over brunettes?&#; My advice is to enable yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as drawn-out as they are over the age of 18).
Age gap relationships are more common than you may realize. In western countries:
- 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
- that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
- and 15% of female/female relationships
That same learn indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more committed to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some research that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can find more details on these stats on this episode of the pod